By Karen Ebanks
Equity Advisor
Teachers are finding themselves stretched in ways they never have before. What happens when relationships with close colleagues start to feel the strain of our deteriorating working conditions?
It may become necessary to have careful conversations. The pathway forward is together.
Where safe to do so, the preferred approach is for teachers to speak directly with each other, without engaging an administrator. Making an adverse report to an administrator about a fellow teacher requires the teacher making the report to advise that teacher in writing within 72 hours.
Where safe to do so, consider trying a careful conversation with a colleague first, instead of engaging an administrator.
Here are a few helpful hints:
Conversation Starter –
- Approach when in control of your emotions, tone of voice and body language.
- Ask if now is a good time to start a conversation. If it is a good time, proceed – ensure you are in a place where there is privacy away from students and colleagues. If it is not a good time, ask when would be a better time.
- Indicate you would like to work through an issue together. Share generally what you would like to discuss (a specific interaction on a given date). Pause to ensure the conversation receiver recalls the interaction.
- Communicate how you experienced the interaction, identifying the impact on you, and ask the conversation receiver if they are open to sharing how they experienced the interaction.
- Do your best to refrain from accusatory language and from personal attacks.
- Listen actively without interruption and see if you can come to a resolution together on how to move forward, owning where you need to also do better.
- Ask for a pause during the conversation if you need one to maintain control of your emotions, tone of voice and body language.
Conversation Receiver –
- If now is not a good time to have an unexpected conversation, say so. Offer an alternative time to communicate your willingness to participate.
- Ensure you are in a place where there is privacy away from students and colleagues.
- Acknowledge that it may not have been easy for the conversation starter to come forward, and share appreciation for this, if genuine.
- Share how you experienced the interaction, and its impact on you.
- Decentre yourself, and do your best to not get defensive or dismissive, despite how difficult it may be to hear what is being said.
- Listen actively without interruption and see if you can come to a resolution together on how to move forward, owning where you need to also do better.
- Ask for a pause during the conversation if you need one to maintain control of your emotions, tone of voice and body language.
Document this careful conversation in a journal for your records.
Ideally, you and your colleague have now found a collaborative pathway forward together. Revisit where necessary.
Do not hesitate to reach out to the York Unit office at 905 508 2008 if you need support.